He'd say he's not. But what he wanted the Empire to be and what is are so different that he cannot think of them as anything other than polar opposites. And having his family here, in places he can touch and see...

Well. They were always a strong pull he was unable to resist.

There had to be something better, because his children, his wife, his family deserved better.

"Luke prefers to avoid confrontation, Kylo attacks it, yes." To be fair - he also tended to attack as well.